I got the full-time position at Goodwill!
in violet times
the vilest way that you know
utterly savage me
on me no mercy bestow
- Old Song, 1944” —Violent Collaborations, Allen Ginsberg
I can’t decide if I want to deactivate my facebook or not.
- everyone: you're so quiet
- me: i'm not quiet i just don't fucking like you
it’s kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked
two eggs and an avocado for breakfast; education at noon.
It’s because I wuv you. <3
and wants to wake to a new name
I have been younger in October
than in all the months of spring
walnut and may leaves the color
of shoulders at the end of summer
a month that has been to the mountain
and become light there
the long grass lies pointing uphill
even in death for a reason
that none of us knows
and the wren laughs in the early shade now
come again shining glance in your good time
naked air late morning
my love is for lightness
of touch foot feather
the day is yet one more yellow leaf
and without turning I kiss the light
by an old well on the last of the month
gathering wild rose hips
in the sun.” —The Love of October, W.S. Merwin
I don’t know - you tell me.
& if we make our dining
room chairs out of its freight
& if we were meant to haul
it, haul that behemoth tree
the way one hauls faith,
debt, imagination, a car
from a slushed-over ditch
& if the tree is older
than we are, older than our entire
life separately or added together
& if we put the tree back
into the ground in our yard,
a Christmas come in June
& if we were to unspool gold
ribbons through its lower branches
& name these soft rememberancers
& no one, not a single
person is around to hear that” —Epithalamium, Carolina Ebeid
I hate you more. Suck my dick.
- I’m a ridiculous klutz and I can’t go through a day without slicing open a finger, stubbing my toe, or dropping my phone in a toilet.
- Music can either soothe me or make me even more anxious depending on my mood.
- Speaking of being anxious: I have severe anxiety problems about the silliest things.
- The guys (men) I’m attracted to never seem to be attracted to me in the slightest, and I’ve gotten used to this feeling.
- I’m oblivious to many people, except for the people I love.
- I love floral and I love mythology.
- I have a rapidly growing film/book collection.
- I get addicted to things and people quite easily, which can either be a good or bad thing for me.
- I sometimes lack motivation, but if it’s something I truly want, I’ll do anything to keep hold of it or procure it.
- I’m missing a part and I don’t know what it is.
I’m sorry these are so horrible. I’m rather tired and cranky.
I’m not going to tag anyone.
<3 d’aw thank you
So I think I may have gotten a full-time job at Goodwill. Crossing my fingers, but I’m not getting my hopes way up. (If I do get it, this means I’ll have to do school all online this year. Five hours of school a day and a full-time job? Yikes, I hope I’m strong enough to be this busy.)
You and your conditions; my only wish is to love you and for you to let me in. I just want to know what you’re thinking, even if it’s not what I want to hear.
I am so tired of these waves of anxiety that just wash over me and consume me.