No, sorry I have one friend, I have Amanda. I love Amanda. She’s the only one. Bye.
Best friends don’t exist.
(a total pity party)
People on Facebook and my friends are all going someplace for the summer and posting things like, “Off to Europe!” or “Off to Mexico!” or “Off to California!” or “Off to Australia!” and I’m just like, “OFF TO WORK!”
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
I don’t want to be alone anymore, so I have to stop with my unemotional, physical stuff now.
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.” —Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene 6, William Shakespeare
Nope, I am straight. I enjoy man-flesh a lot. But I do find many ladies very beautiful, but doesn’t everyone do that?
and then there are some who
believe that old
relationships can be
revived and made new
if you feel that way
If you’re reading this, I hope you have an orgasm today.
There’s a guy who just started working at the grocery store next door to the Goodwill I work at and I want him; he’s nice and he’s sarcastic and I like that.
Is a suspended blue ocean.
The stars are the fish
The planets are the white whales
I sometimes hitch a ride on,
And the sun and all light
Have forever fused themselves
Into my heart and upon
…okay, it’s gonna be blurred as heck though.
This is such a creative question but such a hard one to answer, so I’ll give you the first several answers that pop into my head!
Tommy by The Who
Blue by Joni Mitchell
Clouds by Joni Mitchell
Marry Me by St. Vincent
The Execution of All Things by Rilo Kiley
White Blood Cells by The White Stripes
Union by The Boxer Rebellion
Deja Entendu by Brand New
Hot Fuss by The Killers
The Bitter End by Right Away, Great Captain!
All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone by Explosions in the Sky
The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place by Explosions in the Sky
A Rush of Blood to the Head by Coldplay
Parachutes by Coldplay
The Same Old Blood Rush With a New Touch by Cute Is What We Aim For
Shrines by Purity Ring
Lungs by Florence + the Machine
Two Suns by Bat for Lashes
Under the Pink by Tori Amos
A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out by Panic! At the Disco
Tidal by Fiona Apple
Disintegration by The Cure
Dog Problems by The Format
Tidelands by Moondoggies
For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver
This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About by Modest Mouse
To Lose My Life by White Lies
New Amerykah by Erykah Badu
Things Fall Apart by The Roots
Words Are Dead by Horse Feathers
The Covers Record by Cat Power
Family Tree by Nick Drake
Harvest by Neil Young
To Be Still by Alela Diane
I FINALLY just registered to vote and I became an organ doner. What’s up.
Someone get me a new fucking life. I’m tired of this bullshit. I haven’t stopped crying all evening.
I’ve had this clay face mask on my skin for about forty-five minutes now; too long. I think I’m going to treat myself with a few goodies off ASOS tomorrow with my paycheck. I want a few new clothes. I’m slowly going to build up my wardrobe since I can’t really just go and blow one hundred dollars on clothes whenever I want.
Bright Star, Elizabethtown, The Family Stone, One Day, Moonrise Kingdom
Cucumber sandwiches and falling asleep to a lovely movie have to be two of my favorite things.